#what point does it serve
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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Would you like to do this one for Obikin ? 👀
22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
💯
[from this list of prompts]
[2. 'have you lost your damn mind?' (LATEST) - 5. 'are you jealous' - 13. 'kiss me.' - 14. 'hey, i'm with you, okay? always.' - 18. 'this is the stupidest plan you've ever had. of course i'm in.' - 19. 'the paint is supposed to go where?' - 24. 'you're the only one i trust to do this' - 27. 'i'm pregnant' - 28. 'marry me?' - 29. 'i thought you were dead' - 32. 'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified' - 37. 'wanna dance?' - 44. 'if you die, i'm gonna kill you' - 41. 'you did all of this for me?' - 46. 'hey, have you seen...? oh']
22. 'I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice.'
"Oh," a very familiar voice says. "I wasn't aware you were attending the banquet tonight."
Anakin stares down at the empty plate before him. The servers are moving around the tables as guests rise from their seats and begin to chatter amongst themselves. Anakin thinks for a moment about trying to catch his master's eye, but Qui-Gon is across the hall in deep conversation with the representative of Alderaan the last time that Anakin checked. And anyway--he's not sure his master would intervene to help him with this problem.
Even though, technically speaking, this problem is half Qui-Gon's problem. Or, like. At least a quarter of it.
Probably.
"Though I suppose I would have known if you'd responded to my comm-message," the voice says in a lilting and crisp Coruscanti accent that Anakin knows is as much of a ruse as the rest of him.
Anakin scowls down at the table and counts to five. He is here to represent the Jedi Order as a senior padawan. He is not here to start a diplomatic incident by stabbing Prince Kenobi in the hand with a shrimp fork.
Or is it Lord Kenobi?
He thinks, yes, technically probably a lord. Or maybe it was a knight? A duke? Anakin can never remember all the words that make up Kenobi's title. He just knows that Kenobi's elder brother married the queen of Stewjon, so he's now the king consort, and Obi-Wan got to claim a bunch of useless titles without even doing any of the hard work.
And so Obi-Wan Kenobi gets to call himself a prince now when once, he'd called himself a padawan.
Once, even, he'd called himself Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan.
Anakin counts to five again and gathers up all the diplomatic words and scripts he's learned over the years. Then, he actually turns and faces Kenobi, and all of those words fly out of his mind.
Kenobi looks unfairly good in the ivory white of his outfit. The top half is mostly lace, which--isn't it cold in space? Isn't it cold on Stewjon?
He's wearing a small, ceremonial circlet atop his auburn hair, and the glinting gold of the crown offsets the white of his robes nicely. He just--
He looks so beautiful, even as he's lounging in the chair next to Anakin, eyes pinned on his face as if he'd wait all night just to hear him speak.
That sort of look is dangerous. Anakin knows that intimately well. That sort of attention...Anakin isn't built to withstand it for long. Not without succumbing to all and any of Kenobi's demands. He's sure he has a backbone, but it just melts when he's around Kenobi.
But not anymore. Anakin's twenty now, and he's going to be Knighted any day. He's above such weakness.
"I'm sixteen years your junior," Anakin bites out, hand becoming a fist in his lap. "Don't you think maybe it's a little inappropriate to be comm-messaging me without my master's approval?"
Despite the venom he tries to weave through what should be a cutting rebuke, Kenobi's eyebrows raise. He doesn't look ashamed nor does he look particularly discouraged. "After all the rest of the inappropriate things we've done together, darling, I'd think you'd overlook a comm-message."
Anakin's scowl grows exponentially, but Kenobi continues without pause, "Though if you'd like me to get your master's retroactive approval for every time we've interacted, I shall of course. Do you think he'd approve of your judicious but creative use of the Force when you used it to hold me up against the Senate Commons wall and kriff me silly before my meeting with the Chancellor, or should I leave that out?"
Anakin can feel his face flushing, and he's quick to stand, throwing his napkin onto his empty plate and striding away. He needs--he needs to be further away from Kenobi. He needs to not look at the man, not hear him. Then, he'll stop wanting him.
He must stop wanting him. It's ruining his life.
So of course Kenobi follows him because there's nothing he loves more than ruining Anakin, apparently. He's not even being subtle about it anymore, grabbing Anakin's wrist in plain view of all and sundry and using his grip to tug him out of the banquet hall and into an unused nook of space.
It's small enough that there's not much room to stand apart, but Kenobi at least makes the good faith attempt to drop Anakin's wrist and step away from him. In the Force, he feels strange. Worried, almost, which is not an emotion that Anakin has ever felt from Kenobi. Kenobi, who crafts an air of not caring about anything or anyone whenever Anakin and his master are near. Kenobi, who's purposefully disrespectful to Master Jinn, acts purposefully slow and air-headed and conceited.
He could have been one of the best of us, Jinn had told him once. It was the only time he'd ever talked about Kenobi. He made different choices, and I suppose he still blames me for them.
"Come now, Anakin, tell me what's wrong," Kenobi says, nudging at him almost clumsily in the Force. The touch startles Anakin. It's been twenty years or so since Obi-Wan left the Order. Or since Master Jinn refused to take him back as his padawan after a mission on a civil-war struck planet and Obi-Wan had had no choice but to leave the Order.
Jocasta Nu told him once: all stories have different endings and beginnings when the teller changes.
He thinks that's especially true when it comes to whatever tension exists between Kenobi and Qui-Gon. Though Anakin wasn't wise enough to keep himself out of it, he's certainly not stupid enough to shove his nose so forcefully into the middle of it.
"I've seen the way you've looked at me tonight when you think I'm not looking," Kenobi is saying, wheedling really, as his Force signature rubs even more insistently up against Anakin's, like a--like a loth cat winding around his ankles, searching for affection it knows it will be offered.
No. Not anymore.
"Enough," Anakin snaps, throwing up his highest shields and pushing away from Obi-Wan.
"Just tell me what I've done, darling," Kenobi says. Pleads, really. A part of Anakin thinks it's a very good look on him, and then hates himself for thinking it. Weak. Kenobi makes him weak. "It's not that you don't want me anymore, or you'd have spent less time gawping at me all night."
The words are cruel in their truthfulness and they hit unerringly at Anakin's shame, and so he's snarling back at him before he can stop himself: "Everyone was gawping at you, you're dressed like a schutta."
Kenobi doesn't look to be offended, which riles Anakin further.
But then--then the man steps closer and rests a hand on his chest. They're of a height now that Anakin's grown another two inches over the summer. Obi-Wan's eyes are right there. His lips, also.
"And yet who have I dragged off into a dark corner to ravish me?" Kenobi asks, voice pitched low and eyes blinking sultry blue at him from beneath his eyelashes.
"Yeah," Anakin bites, "only because even after twenty years you're still trying to get back at my master for throwing you out like trash. But the stupid thing is that he doesn't even think about you anymore."
The words hit the way Anakin had meant them to, but as he watches the way Obi-Wan's eyes shutter, the way his mouth tightens and the way he takes a step back and his hand coming up to hold his elbow, Anakin realizes that he didn't--he didn't realize what it would look like, to hurt Obi-Wan.
He hadn't realized Kenobi could be hurt, that Anakin had that sort of power.
And maybe he doesn't really, maybe this is just Anakin's master hurting Obi-Wan all over again, but it's still Anakin wielding the weapon. Anakin who was trusted enough that Obi-Wan did not see it coming.
"I see," Obi-Wan says, and Anakin can't hide his wince at the tone. He doesn't like that tone. Didn't realize how warmly Obi-Wan spoke to him until the chill set in.
But it's not as if what he said was wrong, Anakin tells himself. And it's not as if Obi-Wan's been fair to him either, using Anakin like that.
And--and sure, maybe when they first started...whatever this is--was--maybe Anakin had wanted to use Kenobi too. After all, he'd been eighteen and charged with guarding some rich senator at an event just like this one. And Padmé Amidala had been there, and Anakin had been so desperate for her attention that he'd thought--maybe if he could make her jealous by talking with Kenobi--
And talking had turned into kissing had turned into bedding, but it hadn't been about Kenobi, not really, not that first time. It'd been about Padmé and how much Anakin had wanted her to notice him, see him for the man he'd become.
And he's sure that Kenobi had bedded him with ulterior motives too--not to make Qui-Gon jealous, of course, which is a thought that Anakin doesn't even like to think about, honestly--but to make Qui-Gon upset. Master Jinn didn't like the slimmest reminders of his old apprentice. To find out that his old apprentice had bedded his new one...no, Master Jinn did not, in fact, appreciate that.
So they'd both had ulterior motives the first time they slept together, and they'd probably had them for a while after too. It was an arrangement. A casual affair.
Before Anakin had gone and developed feelings for Kenobi, of course.
And now it's not fair. None of it's fair, because Anakin's in love with him and Kenobi's still just sleeping with him for the sake of some bruised pride he's been nursing for twenty years and now Anakin's gone and hurt him, genuinely hurt him, and he doesn't feel the way the Chancellor had told him he'd feel when he told the prince where to shove it. He just feels awful, like he'd been hurt too.
"I apologize for wasting your time, Padawan Skywalker," Kenobi is saying when Anakin tunes back into his voice. His face is hidden behind a cool mask of untouchable indifference. His arm is still crossed in defense over his chest. "I was mistaken in the understanding we had between each other, and I have thus overstepped erroneously."
It's not fair, Anakin thinks wildly as Obi-Wan steps away from him like he's going to move out of the alcove altogether. It's not fair that Obi-Wan's apparently so good at the diplomatic script of the Jedi that he can fall back on it at any moment, even after all of these years, and it's Anakin who can apparently only ever use his words to hurt.
So Anakin doesn't use his words. It's instinct, probably the first one he ever learned, to reach out in the Force instead. Nudge their Force signatures closer together and drop his shields so he can feel--truly feel--the heat of Obi-Wan's presence in the Force entangled around his own.
It's easier after that to reach out his hand and catch Kenobi's wrist. Then it's easier than anything else to use that hold to push him up against the wall and bracket him in with his body to keep him there.
Kenobi doesn't fight against his touch, but he doesn't bloom under it either, the way Anakin's gotten used to him doing. He doesn't even look at him, keeps his eyes on the neck of Anakin's Jedi robes.
"No, I'm sorry," Anakin murmurs, squeezing Obi-Wan's captured wrist. "I didn't--I didn't mean that. Not at all."
"If you didn't mean it at all, you wouldn't have said it," Obi-Wan points out, which is...well, correct, technically, but Anakin doesn't like to hear it.
"I was just...someone told me that," Anakin admits. "And I--I mean, I know you and I know--what we have. And what it is. And I'm fine with that, I understand it. I just let it get to me, that maybe you only like me cause you're still out for revenge against my master. But, um."
Obi-Wan is looking at him now, something soft and quizzical and confused coloring his gaze.
"I thought I couldn't stand being nothing but revenge to you," Anakin makes himself say, even though his breath feels caught in his throat. Danger, danger. He is skirting too close to the truth. He is saying too much. But if he doesn't say anything, what then? "But that's not so bad, I guess. It's better than being nothing to you at all."
Which is a lesson that Anakin has just learned and is eager to never experience again. Even if it makes him pathetic and weak and spineless and some prince's playtoy, or whatever else the Chancellor had implied. He'd like to see the Chancellor stand up to Obi-Wan's dignified yet wounded eyes.
"Darling," Obi-Wan says, and for a moment his hand cups Anakin's face. It's just long enough of a touch that Anakin can't help but to lean into it with an exhale. "You've never been nothing to me."
Anakin gives into the urge to kiss him. It's a miracle that Obi-Wan lets him.
It's also nowhere near enough; Anakin is a greedy sort of man. He doesn't want nothing or a little more than nothing from Obi-Wan. He wants everything.
#asks#obikin#had the realization writing this (it is 2k)#that these are just like. fics. not prompt fill drabbles LMAO#obi-wan is going to fuck anakin senseless and then interrogate him on who exactly was telling him bad things about their relationship#like first of all whose business is that#second of all who is anakin trusting that much#third of all what do you mean it's the chancellor of the fucking republic#so im imagining qui-gon just point blank refuses to take obi-wan back after melida/daan#and so obi-wan does actually go back to melida/daan and stays there rebuilding for a bit#and then he runs into some stewjoni people and they're like whoa ho! are you part of the royal family?#and kenobi is like? i don't think so ?#and they're like no way youre the jedi one right wow thats great#and obi-wan is like no no no longer a jedi#and they're like oh! well wanna come to stewjon with us#and obi-wan is like. sure.#and so he goes lol#the only thing is that he really does refuse the title of 'knight' even tho he serves in the kingsguard for a bit#he has a complex about being a jedi knight or no knight at all#thankfully after a decade or so he decides to become a scoundrel instead#(a public figure so to speak)
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nooooo you don’t understand, it’s absolutely crucial that daemon learns about the song of ice and fire prophesy and the birth of daenerys’ dragons and the white walkers so that he realizes that he’s a piece of the puzzle that helped daenerys fulfill her prophesied destiny of uniting westeros, killing the night king, and saving the world! oh wait
#why do they keep digging their grave on this#we know how that story ends#what purpose does it serve for the people who nearly eradicated the family line and killed all the dragons to know about this great threat#but then proceed to do everything in their power to handicap house targaryen from being able to help end the ice threat#what’s the point.#house of the dragon#daemon targaryen#game of thrones#anti hotd#hotd critical#anti house of the dragon#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers
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Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.
Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.
It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.
#i rewatched that ep a few days ago and this was just cooking in my brain for a bit#their relationship is so messy and interesting i want to watch them get a divorce on a loop forever#and like. the wildest thing is that Tom does occasionally do things that don't serve him to help someone else. but its always greg#which you might say is ultimately down to the power dynamics (shiv can do more for tom than he can for her and tom can do more for greg)#but there are still plenty of points where tom actually does have the power to help shiv and chooses not to#and I love how succession never really has a clear 'what this character is telling you is 100% the truth of the story' moments#anytime a character is making a statement like 'this is who you are/who i am' or 'this is what i really want/what you really want' there's#always some kernel of truth to it but the narrative they're spinning is almost never fully honest#you can't take any of it at face value and it's such a good way of showing how they're always on some level 'playing the game'#and like. at a time when so many stories are basically spoon-feeding their audiences it's so nice to have a story that trusts you to#sort through it all and see what's real and what's not and rewards you for putting that work in#succession#4x07 tailgate#succession season 4#failmarriage#shiv roy#tomshiv#tom wambsgans#siobhan roy
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hmmmm "i will" by mitski as a loumand song.... armand both pre- and post-SF trying to convince himself he's doing the right thing, he's doing this for louis, he's doing this for them......
armand who considers himself fundamentally unlovable outside of his utility to a partner...... for whom love and servitude and ownership and debt are all mixed up in ways informed by centuries of abuse
who is applying what little he has received in the way of love (both real and perceived) to his current relationships, but who has never felt loved without being owned, who has never once even considered that Respecting Boundaries is an important part of loving somebody, who is used to his lover being his owner being his maker being his god, and who applies all that to his relationship with louis because it's the first time he is suddenly in the dominant position in a relationship and he is Not equipped to handle that in any way even approaching a healthy relationship
"i will see your body bare and still i will live here" considering that the highest form of devotion because surely only somebody who truly loves him could stomach to see him undone, to see him brought low, even if they were the one to undo him. is it not the most honest expression of his adoration for louis to see him brought low and rebuild him ?
"and all the quiet nights you bear, seal them up with care / no one needs to know they're there, for i will hold them for you" armand who is intimately familiar with the ways that memory can hurt you, who is desperately trying to pretend that forgetting is the same as moving on, who is taking on all the burden of this relationship and still louis is so ungrateful, how dare he accuse armand of doing this for his own benefit when it was all for louis, when armand has stayed awake a thousand days to soothe his nightmares, smooth over the edges of every hurtful recollection, when armand bears louis's traumas for him, how dare he—
"there's no need to be brave / while you sleep, i'll be scared / so by the time you wake, i'll be brave" armand who is building up an increasingly fragile house of cards, who is layering lies and adjustments and changes and more lies over each other, knowing that it's not sustainable, knowing that with every passing day it becomes harder to tell the truth, knowing that this will collapse eventually and the fallout is only growing. and then louis wakes up and everything is fine, darling, don't you even worry about it
(can you tell him that i'm so normal about him)
#lmaster37 posts#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#the vampire armand#obv this is like heavily filtered through armand's self-perception#for the record while i Do Not claim that this is ACCURATE to show!armand#i do think that it is at minimum more interesting to consider his actions through the lens of him genuinely caring for louis#if in a toxic and often self-serving way#(self-serving being. a very broad term here. consider that louis is a useful prop in armand's perfomance of elaborate self-destruction)#(as somebody with a tendency to romanticise their own mental illness that's an impulse i understand all too well)#(it's the constructing a situation so awful for everybody involved that surely at some point nobody could fault you for giving up. for me)#idk like i've seen people dismiss all of armand's more tender moments as part of The Scheme#and while i'm obv not gonna claim that that's a Wrong reading#i do think it's kinda. uninteresting. okay so everything he ever said was a lie. what's left of the character then ?#hmm still salty about 2x8 sorry. cool twist but like what does that actually mean for the character#idk i'm having a hard time reconciling 2x8 armand with the rest of iwtv armand#equal odds whether that's a weakness on the show's part or my unwillingness to reconsider a Character I Like in a negative light :shrug:#once again it appears i am incapable of not rambling in tags
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“Ego is like a dish that only feeds you false fruit. Right? Like, the more that you eat off of your own ego, the more you starve your spirit.”
—Josh Johnson
#the way I had to fully stop what I was doing to just process that#josh johnson#is my favorite comedian#because he’s funny but also he says things like this#and he provokes people to think#and not to get all Christian up in this comedy thing#but he does a whole thing about the way power money and fame can corrupt you#and he even points out that we can yell at billionaires#but if we (and many do) go to a foreign country where the locals are poorer than we are and we start getting greedy and rude#and don’t treat the locals like people#then we’re acting like billionaires#his point is that money really makes you stop acting like a person and like you live on a different planet from the real world#and all I could think was the scripture where Jesus says no one can serve both God and money#and this quote was his whole thing about feeding your ego and pride#he has another quote about ego being a still small voice in your head saying I am the center of the universe#and I’m screaming because yes! a still small voice! a phrase used to describe the voice of God! if you serve your ego it becomes your god!#I don’t know if he made that reference on purpose (I don’t think he’s a Christian) but if he did that’s a spectacular use of reference#reblog for posterity#philosophy takes
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cmonnnn at xander in the s2 angelus arc trying to claim some sort of high ground with his "I've been distrustful of angel the whole time and the rest of you are just getting to the party" as if a) we haven't already established that angel and angelus are effectively two different people and b) that xander had any suspicions or criticisms or negative feelings toward angel that weren't all ultimately rooted in jealousy
#the bit in... I think it's passion? where xander is like. I think it's really big of me not to have said 'I told you so' about him#which is such a fucking wild thing to say to buffy when she's still grieving over losing angel. still feeling responsible for what happened#now also carrying jenny's death. has just resolved to kill angelus (thereby removing any possibility of angel's return)#and when absolutely all evidence of her relationship with angel pointed toward angel genuinely respecting loving and caring for her#truly cmon. cmon! like I get xander meeting buffy and immediately developing a crush on her. literally who wouldn't#but after you've established that she does not feel the same way in return and is only interested in being friends#to then not make Any effort to have xander get over her. to have him continue carrying this torch even while dating cordelia#who wanted that! what was it serving!! it's so consistently frustrating and for what#buffy the vampire slayer#anti xander harris (I guess to be safe)
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"Mikasa is more beautiful told from Eren's perspective" you know who else is more beautiful told from another character's perspective rather than Armin? Marco Bott.

- while Armin was there, he's been in shock during the whole talk up until Mikasa showed up (which is right after Marco says this). That means someone else told Armin what happened exactly and that's most likely Jean. You can literally see the lost hope in Marco's eyes, an extra detail I doubt anyone else would've pointed out. But Jean did because he took notice.

- Which brings me here, because I doubt Armin paid that much attention to the other cadets at the start. Not enough to point out the hope and admiration in someone's eyes to such a detail. However Jean was standing right next to Marco and took notice of it.

- This one is just me seeing things because this is most likely from Armin's memory of the moment, but Jean was right there and I want to think he's the one seeing Marco like this. It would explain that shining hope in Marco's eyes, something that doesn't show often (and when an emotion shows clearly in Marco's eyes, is usually from Jean's perspective not Armins)



- this WHOLE ASS MOMENT and that shining hope and admiration in Marco's eyes. But especially the moment when Marco talks badly about himself (mentioning he's slow) and when he talks about Jean being a better leader- he looks different than other moments. Is like that's when Jean sees Marco like more than just his best friend. At his lowest and at his brightest. When there's no hope in those eyes and when they're shining with hope.

- Not explaining this one

- And do not let me forget this masterpiece and how Marco's eyes might lack their hope, but there's that soft smile on his face too. Marco also looks even better here, like his beauty in Jean's eyes aged like fine wine. It got better and better with the passing of time, rather than dying away.
This was supposed to be me pointing out Marco's moments told by Jean, but it ended up in me pointing out just how obsessed Jean is with Marco's eyes ups. Didn't notice until now.
#Wanted to add that moment when Jean called Marco out on his desire to serve the king too but Armin was there and they were loud#That's clearly told from what Armin remembers rather than Jean's memory#And before someone say something about drawing style and how it got better over the years- Marco's ugly during his whole death#Sorry no sorry I actually looked at that too and he's different from Reiner/Annie's memories#To be fair it would make sense for Jean to find beauty in Marco's eyes. For that to be what gathers his attention the same way Mikasa's hair#has done. Not the face or hair or freckles but the most expensive the most OPEN thing about Marco aka his eyes#Don't ask me about this post I don't know myself what's going on at this point#aot#jeanmarco#jean kirstein#aot jean#snk#marco bodt#marco bott#aot marco#jean kirschstein#The anime also does it ten times better in portraying how beautiful Marco looks when is seen by Jean
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if you sit down and Really think about it, geto's found family is just a bunch of misfit queer people he is giving a safe space to, so in that sense geto suguru is basically a house mother. and can you really hate a gay bitch doing her best? i think not
gojo could have been the house father too if he didnt fumble but even he can't win em all i guess
#House Getou#explains why he slays 24/7#serving cvnt 365 days a year#im just saying anything at this point#does the average jjk fan even know what im talking about#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#gojo satoru#radio rambles
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in tmagp who are we betting on having the first "ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing" moment. who do we think is gonna be the first to yell some ominous eldritch horror shit
#god i hope it's either lena or gwen. but there's also something to the idea of it being alice#with lena i'm picturing it as her calling upon some power we've never even heard of. with some weird fucked up new sound effects.#with gwen i imagine a possession sort of scene where something takes control of her#but with alice...i have no idea what that'd be. a major plot twist i guess?#ik the easy answer would be that it'll be chester/norris/augustus but that's boring i want the new guys to get to serve that slay too#oohhh what abt sam. WHAT ABOUT COLIN#i feel like as a character colin is the closest to that point but also he seems more like he'd do something than just say something weird#sam is interesting cuz of his implied ties to the magnus institute. like what if he just actually does the ceaseless watcher thing#tmagp#the magnus protocol#magnus protocol#alice dyer#lena kelley#colin becher#gwendolyn bouchard#samama khalid
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I'm rewatching Alex Rider for like the 7th time but with my boyfriend and guys season 2 is so fucking good SEASON 2 IS SOOO GOOD
Alex being such a cheeky brat with the department and Alan Blunt losing his mind because Alex is being so clever and annoying
The slowly building mystery with all the pieces that gradually come together
Alex and Kyra being so cute with the washer and "survivors club" and "keeping score" of who has saved each other's life the most (and the end scene where he's looking up at her from the stage🥹😭)
Jack having her own storyline that actually serves the story and gives her character a purpose
Tom and Kyra both helping to progress the plot in ways that are genuinely required from them and makes sense for their characters
The subtle hints that Yassen is going to wind up helping Alex in the end, the way his character gradually becomes more complex with each episode
Alex just generally being so smart, so resourceful, so capable and just really encompassing his character, not to mention the genuine depth that comes from his trauma + him accidentally getting people killed over the course of the season (Blunt telling him he has blood on his hands)
The tension that builds within The Department as Smithers and Mrs. Jones start keeping secrets from Blunt about Alex
Damian Cray just getting absolutely dogpiled by Alex and the gang who just keep screwing over his plan again and again
Alex and Yassen FINALLY having a full conversation and it holds so much weight and hits so good
The part where Sabina cracks Anders over the head with her own laptop (honorable mention)
All the cheeky light hearted bits where the kids are just being shitheads with too much power, like cutting off the electricity to the whole postal code just to use the computer lab
And then on the flip the angst that comes from literally no one believing Alex about anything for like 60% of the season
It's just scene after scene of "oH THIS PARTS SO GOOD" and it doesn't stop until the very end
has it been long enough that I can say that season 3 just doesn't hit the same😭
#alex rider#season 3 is okay but the characters do so much shit just to serve the plot and it doesn't make any sense sometimes and idk what happened#Julia Rothman (and Nile) is like caricature evil villain and it's too obvious and Alex would NOT trust her he's way too smart#They should have made her way more charming and likeable to the point where even the audience is wondering if she's good#Alex and Kyra's relationship gets weird and forced and it makes no sense that Kyra instantly turns on him and decides he's a killer#Jack does nothing Tom's brother does nothing Tom and Kyra barely do anything#Yassen does a bunch of stuff that makes no sense to me absolutely hate that they made him lie to Alex#The Department gets painted way too much as “the good guys” by the end#Alex becomes very emotional and it clouds his judgement but we haven't seen him slowly get there over the course of the show#He sort of just sees that video then gets there all at once right off the bat and then makes dumb decisions the entire season#anyways blah blah I'll shut up now it's still my favorite show in the entire world forever and ever#season 3 was still the event of the year for me and one of the most fun weeks of my life#but season 2 u will always be famous..
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I think a lot of ppl correctly identify the problem of
'there is not enough resources for us'
& jump straight to the incorrect conclusion of
'so this other group of *fakers* must be stealing it'
so they have a tangible to blaim
rather than acknowledging the terrible truth that the purpose of the system is what it does & here the system is to pit disabled people against each other, pit abled ppl against all of us, & to keep ANY of us from accessing resources
#yes. this is about system discourse. no i will be actually doing it#anyways... i dont understand the point of being virulently anti endo. what does that serve us?#& honestly at a certain point it begins to come off as anti recovery#like sorry yeah. im traumatized & being a system is a hard struggle for me sometimes#but it doesnt have to be forever & im allowed to find the good in it. but most of these super anti endo ppl r just dead set on#traumagenic systems being deeply traumatized & disordered forever#ignoring the fact that getting better#healing & working to feel better doesn't have to mean fusing or integrating or giving up being plural#isnt that something that endos show us? that we can eventually lead happy fulfilling lives as systems even outside of other struggles?#idk whatever#fruitpost#fruitvent#untagged archive#alsoalsoalso.#most endos rnt pretending 2b traumatized or have DID so how would they even b stealing DID resources anyways??
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bruh, I am actually bothered by what happened; I don’t even wanna write nothin today 😭
#rose talk ✨#ITS UNFAIRRRR#and I really don’t understand what does ‘gojo’ body coming back serve#no 1. I thought that yuuji and todo were doing incredibly well and the fight was going in a positive direction#no 2. gojo already died once and I (personally) believe that he did his due from a narrative presepective#I genuinely don’t know how will it progress from this point and why gege even chose this#i am both confused and sad#jjk 261#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers
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i will say im not super invested in the idea of the show giving us too much information on c&a. like itll be super cool if we find out about it! and im sure itll be relevant information if we do but i think the information we get is going to be not super indepth, because im not sure itd match the tone of the show? its less about mystery and like The Lore and more about the characters and examining how different characters respond and have been responding to the environment set up by the show
(it WOULD be fun to learn more details about c&a and i AM curious i just dont think itd actually enhance much abt the show itself, and as such, i dont think its super important writing wise for the audience to learn about it either)
that SAID i do ascribe to the idea that ALL of the cast members worked for c&a before the ended up in the circus, no exceptions. i dont really know how say gangle or zooble wouldve ended up there, but i feel like they all ended up there one way or another. and i think most of the cast doesnt talk about their life in the real world bc its gone and theres no reason to dredge it up (or theyve forgotten it or most aspects of it), but it does make it fascinating that not even pomni, who has the least reason to avoid these topics at least early on, broached the subject of what in the WORLD is c&a UP to. it literally is never brought up ever as of ep 4. which makes me think the company was probably always super shady in some way to the pt that its employees were kinda desensitized to the idea that its c&as fault that horrible things happen
#tadc#i do think any discussion or reveal abt c&a is gonna have less to do w lore#and more abt like... the role that exploitative companies have in the harming of their employees#we see a little bit of it in how gangle has been affected by the same concept in ep 4#and i think theres hints of it in caines character but not enough for me to make a super concrete point about that#point being that i think c&a isnt going to be much of a 'literal' figure in the show so much as what it represents#hence why i dont think well actually learn too much about it. bc itd be kinda pointless and redundant#circus discussion#i think the way gooseworx has described abstraction honestly ties into it#its one of the first pieces of like. 'trivia' (i guess it counts as trivia??) i learned that gave me this feeling w c&a#'you get stripped of every bit of individuality you have and become something completely unrecognizable'#really leans into the idea. also makes sense why gangle being back in a job she had in the real world#would be implied to bring her so close to abstracting then really#i think in general the show is very much centered around people reacting to a bad environment and how different people like. Survive That#and c&a as a company epitomizes that. the circus is an extension of it after all#everything that happens in the circus is the responsibility of c&a#they dont need to tell us about c&a the circus does enough#and it serves to add a grounded element to the setting. cus like yeah theres already many elements drawing from real life#but the idea of working for a shitty company that treats its employees horribly is like. thats smth very grounded in reality#theres more i could go into on that front but i was drawing oc concepts so ill stop this post here#OH YEAH#and also i think the lack of discussion from characters generally implies that they know minimal about what role c&a played in this#so i think it also makes sense for the audience to not see this. pomnis confused abt the setting first and foremost and is adjusting#but the rest of the cast has no reason to question something they know they have no answers to#and if they did talk about it it wouldnt give anything to the audience anyway#except maybe kinger? but i feel like he doesnt actually... have the answers that one might assume he would#certainly involved in some way with c&a computer science wise but we dont even have confirmation of what he specialized in#just that it was computer science. he literally couldve just been the guy who made sure the servers were running at all and thats it#i feel like well never know but apparently pomni being an accountant is relevant so? who knows? maybe we WILL learn about their jobs!
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guys i love the tiny details in the show but unfortunately i need so many more. like when robby says he did his residency in new orleans!!! and langdon says "he asks more questions than my four year old." so robby loves old school jazz and tanner is one of those kids who asks "why?" after every sentence. mel and the meg song and the lava lamp and how many times has this girl seen elf. but unfortunately i need a million more details about jack abbot because i'm about to start inventing stuff.
#loving him to the point of creation#like where did he do his residency??? how many tours did he serve??? what was his wife like??? when did they get married?#what kind of music does he listen to at home?? what color are the walls?#backpack lore!! how many times did he wish he just had that one thing on him so he could help someone before he started bringing it daily#what color is the tip. ignore that one.
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Assuming that the whole 'mahiru is the vessel needed to bring back the count and the 9th servamp will be the servamp of vainglory' theory will be correct, it's interesting how both mahiru and touma can be accused of this sin even if the way it applies to them is opposed.
What touma wants is to be acknowledged and to that end he was willing to become the villain who destroyed the world before mahiru and tsurugi managed to change his mind:

Mahiru's way of being vainglorious seems a lot more positive at first because he wants to be a hero who saves others, but it's self-destructive and encourages laziness in others:



But thankfully we see mahiru starting to let go of the need to make other people proud of him and to prioritize making himself proud in his conversation with tsurugi:


and later when mahiru has a meltdown because he fears his uncle might be dead and suggests sacrificing his life to save the world kuro rightfully yells at mahiru for acting hypocritical and not listening to his own advice:




(I want to mention here that I really love how horrified kuro looks as he realizes that mahiru's reckless hero behaviour comes from a very self-destructing place:

because not a lot of manga I know really acknowledge that maybe the way a lot of their protagonists try to be heroic is actually pretty unhealthy and shouldn't be encouraged? Like Sigurd pointed out at the C3 meeting, it's kind of shameful that the children have to save the day)
Which is why I love that mahiru decided to trust kuro to handle tsubaki without him going with him:



He decides to stay back with everyone else, showing that he has learned that he doesn't need to be the one to do everything and can stay back with the others to buy kuro time.
Interestingly we see touma doing something similar. Opposed to his old need to have the whole world acknowledge him he now wishes for everyone to believe he's dead and he's helping to protect the city by creating a huge barrier without making it known that's he the one doing this:

He's helping the protagonists seemingly with no intention of earning acknowledgement for it.
I think in a way it could be cool of servamp to subvert the shouned trope that for the finale battle the only one able to defeat the big bad is the protagonist while everyone else just watches on from the sidelines, not allowed to do anything because this is the protagonist's moment of glory.
What if lily's plan when he put kuro in mahiru's path was that if kuro tried to stop tsubaki at the gate surely his eve would need to be there with him, right? Because of course he needs his eve to fight and then there's also the distance limit. So why not make the vessel you need at that gate for the ritual to work kuro's eve? Then the vessel would be at the place where you need them without you even needing to do something because naturally they would be thinking they are doing the right thing by going with kuro to fight tsubaki together. And surely someone as vainglorious as mahiru would never pass up the opportunity to be the hero who stops tsubaki. It's foolproof!
Unless of course before the ritual the vessel learned to let go of their vainglorious nature, accepted that it's okay to take a step into the background and trust in others. And additionally also found a way to break through the whole forced proximity thing that the servamp and eves had going on.
I don't know, I feel like it would be a neat bow on mahiru's character arc and a unique way to thawrt the antagonists' plans if the creation of the servamp of vainglory failed because the 'it has to be me' guy they wanted to use as the vessel decided against glory and stayed back to let his partner handle things with tsubaki alone because he trusts him. Kuro on the other hand wants to make up for his past regrets and resolve the conflict through communication this time. Learning to trust in himself again by managing to talk tsubaki out of going through with the ritual on his own would be a logical conclusion to kuro's arc.
#servamp#mahiru shirota#taishi touma#This started as a short post about both touma and mahiru being vainglorious just with one wanting to be villain who destroys the world#While the one wants to be the hero who saves the world#because they both want to be acknowledged#And then it escalated into a post about how the two of them letting go of their vainglory might end up saving the day in the end#As for lily and mikuni I feel like that needs to be resolved by misono#He has to deal with lily to get out of the chess game and tell the others about what he has learned or to confront his brother#Mahiru doesn't really have a deep connection to lily or mikuni#He barely knows them and they see him as a pawn#The one who needs them to understand that he's not a child in need of protection to the point that all they did was lie to him is misono#Lily destroyed mikuni's and his kiriko's lives as well maybe misono can work with that?#Or maybe mikuni is playing 5d chess anyway and all he does serves his end goal to get revenge on lily by making sure his plan fails idk#It is weird that his best known spell has people get hanged if they killed other humans in their life#And now he wants to kill the people of tokyo for power? That doesn't make much sense doesn't it.
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